


Cupid's B(l)ow (Dart Gun)

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Blow Dart, Cupid - Freeform, Cupid's Bow, Fluff, M/M, minor injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 13:26:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13590993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Shouyou and Tobio are really tired of their friends' mutual pining.





	Cupid's B(l)ow (Dart Gun)

**Author's Note:**

> this was rly fun to write i hope you enjoy !!
> 
> also - blow dart injuries aren't that bad (from personal experience)

Shouyou flops on his back next to his boyfriend. “He’s texting me again.”

Tobio rolls to face him. “Yeah, he’s texting me too. I know we were really oblivious but were we ever this bad?”

Shouyou shrugs. “I feel like it’s gotten worse since the season actually started, ya know? Constantly together, always rooming  and having to sleep in the same hotel bed since they’re co-captains, flatmates.” He huffs at the newest text notification sound. “I wish Kozume still had the patience to deal with his crush. He’s moved to me now.”

Tobio’s phone goes off too, and he groans. “God damn they’re annoying. When will they realize they’re both smitten with each other and just get together?” He swipes away Tooru’s text notification. “Like I’m glad we’re friends and have both grown past middle school, but I didn’t sign up for this much.”

Shouyou hums in agreement before turning and nuzzling into Tobio’s neck. After both of their phones vibrate in new texts, probably from the oblivious lovebirds, he pipes up quietly, “Hey, what if we played Cupid? They’d finally leave us alone.”

Tobio scruffs Shouyou’s undercut while he contemplates this. “Yeah, but how would we go about it? We’ve tried to convince them they’re into each other, we’ve tried to drop casual hints, and we even tried seven minutes in heaven that one time.”

“That one doesn’t count because they were both toasted out of their minds.” Shouyou crinkles his nose. “We can ask Iwaizumi-san. He knows Tooru best.” He adds as an afterthought, “I could also ask Kozume. I doubt he’d really be able to give us any help though, to be honest.”

Tobio mutters, “It’s worth a shot.”

* * *

Neither of them are sure how they let Iwaizumi and Kozume convince them to do this. Shouyou’s pretty sure that the pair just discussed how to get revenge that would possibly end in them opening their eyes, but it’s worth a shot no matter what it is. Whatever works.

And that’s how they find themselves perched in a park tree, holding an actual blow dart gun that Iwaizumi filled with two pink darts. He had followed Tooru and Tetsuro on their morning run that they took together to find the best spot to shoot them. He found a water fountain that Tooru had dubbed “their usual spot” that they took a break at. The tree was sturdy enough to hold him and Tobio on one of its more hidden branches that still had a clear line of sight to the foundation.

Tobio gently taps his shoulder. “They’re coming this way.”

Shouyou brings the dart gun up to his mouth, far away enough that gently breathing into it won’t move the darts around but close enough to be able to use the telescope to aim.

Tetsuro and Tooru stop, their backs turned to Shouyou and Tobio. Tetsuro’s chatting away and stretching using the bench to balance, and Tooru’s bent over the water fountain.

Shouyou huffs air into the barrel with enough force to send the dart directly into Tooru’s left buttcheek.

* * *

Tetsuro’s talking about how dumb his chemistry professor is when Tooru stands straight up cursing in pain. “God damn it what the fucking fuck ow ow owwww Tetsuro help me holy fuck it’s in my ass!” He turns around limping in an odd way. Then Tetsuro sees it and bursts out laughing.

“Holy shit, someone put a dart in your ass, Tooru. I can’t take it out right now, but let me carry you back to the apartment. I’ll take care of it then.” He pops his elbows, and Tooru reaches out for him. He swings Tooru over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes - those arm days with Koutarou really pay off clearly.

“It hurts so fucking bad. Who would hit me with a fucking dart? What the actual fuck. I’m glad we aren’t too far, but I think I might die, Tetsu-chan,” Tooru whines.

He shakes his head. “You’re not gonna die. It’s not that deep. Just deep enough to stick in.”

“That’s what she said.”

“I will drop you.” Tooru doesn’t respond, but he clings to Tetsuro’s shirt hem.

 

When they get home, Tetsuro gently pulls the blow dart out of the skin and pushes Tooru’s shorts down just far enough to reveal the wound. He cleans the wound with antibacterial soap and puts gauze and medical tape over it. Listening to Iwaizumi study for his med exams really paid off.

Tooru’s a little tipsy from the four shots of whiskey Tetsuro gave him before yanking the dart out of his ass, but it paints a pretty flush on his cheeks which Tetsuro feels buzzed off of. “Thank you, Tetsu-chan. Always so good to me.” He reaches for his hand, and Tetsuro gives it to him and squeezes.

“You deserve it, Cutie-kawa.”

He cannot believe he just said that out loud.

Tooru’s smile is relaxed and the flush deepens. “I like it. I don’t have anything catchy for you, but you’re a cutie too.”

Tetsuro stays by his side until they both fall asleep.

 

When Tooru wakes up a few hours later, Tetsuro’s curled up beside him, still holding his hand. Whatever happened was the work of Cupid he supposes.

* * *

Shouyou flops down beside Tobio. “I got the text.”

Tobio puts his face in Shouyou’s hair. “I did too. Tooru even described it as the work of Cupid,” He snorts.

“Well, I’m glad they’re together and not annoying us about their crushes anymore.” Tobio nods, and Shouyou relaxes in his arms.

Shouyou’s eyes pop open. “Oh my god. Now we’ll have to deal with them annoying us about their _boyfriends_ now.” Both of them groan loud enough that their neighbor can probably hear them, but they’d understand if they were the friends of Tetsuro and Tooru too.


End file.
